Dating calls for more mature moves, such as not telling
your friends every little detail about your relationship. While spilling
some things to your roommates is perfectly okay, there are experiences
that should be kept private between you and your SO for the sake of
honoring your relationship. Here’s what not to tell your besties (as
tough as it may be).
1. The private details of your partner’s life
Your SO tells you something really private and asks you not to tell
anyone. This is absolutely a contract you cannot breach. Failing to
respect your partner’s wishes could mean the demise of the relationship,
especially if word gets out.
“You shouldn’t tell your friends any secrets or private things your
boyfriend entrusts in you,” says Suzanne Oshima, dating coach at Single
in Stilettos. “Don’t even think for a moment that it would be okay to
just tell your best friend.”
Oshima says the consequences of doing so are dire.
'' Why? Because if your boyfriend ever finds out that you shared
something that he entrusted in you, he will never trust you again with
anything else that he holds near and dear to his heart,” she says. “Men
have a hard enough time opening up about their feelings, so don’t breach
his trust.”
Seriously, don’t. It means a lot that he told you this in the first place!
2. Every single disagreement you have with your partner
Sometimes it’s okay to consult your girls when you’re not sure who’s
in the wrong. However, telling them about every single tiny argument you
have with your SO can’t end well.
“You shouldn’t tell your friends about every single fight you get into with your boyfriend,” Oshima says. “If you do, it will start to taint how they feel about him, and they’ll just try to get you to break up with him.”
It’s best to keep some of the smaller arguments to yourselves. Plus,
you should be able to work it out with your SO without the aid of your
friends.
3. The super intimate stuff
If you’re experimenting with s ex for the first time, it’s totally
natural to have questions that you want to ask your girls. Remember,
though, that divulging every single detail of these intimate happenings
between you and your partner can take away from the importance you
should be placing on these occurrences. After all, having s ex with
someone you deeply care about doesn’t happen all the time.
“I know so many like to kiss and tell, but you shouldn’t tell your
friends about your s ex life,” says Julie Spira, online dating and
relationship expert as well as founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.
Spira says if you do tell one of your friends about your s ex woes
(or intimate details about your partner’s body and abilities) and you
happen to get in a fight with said friend, those dirty details you
spilled could get back to your SO. Nowthat would be awkward.
Make sure you have s ex discussions with a person you totally and
completely trust, because the situation Spira described could be
nightmarish — especially if you attend a small college.
READ ABOUT THE REALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS TODAY HERE
READ ABOUT THE REALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS TODAY HERE
4. Exactly how fabulous your relationship is
Things aren’t going well — they’re going amazing. And we’re totally
happy for you! However, keep in mind that you don’t want to be excessive
when talking about it to your friends.
“You shouldn’t gush and brag all the time to your single girlfriends
about how great your boyfriend and relationship are,” Oshima says.
“Being in love and in a great relationship can be one of the most
amazing things. But it’s important to be sensitive to your girlfriends
who are single and not in a relationship right now.”
Remember when you were single and one of your friends was totally
infatuated with her boyfriend? You had to hear about it all the time,
and after a while, you were a bit fed up. Chatting about something
adorable your SO did is fine from time to time, but don’t go overboard.
As Oshima said, you should be considerate of your friends’ feelings.
Relationships are awesome, but with them come some expectation of
privacy. After all, would you want your SO sharing every detail with his
or her buddies? We didn’t think so. Honor your SO by keeping the
intimate aspects of your relationship just that – intimate.
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