If you've been thinking of how you can
get hold of that beautiful girl of your dreams you have been eyeing,
then this is for you.
1. Call her.
In this day and age of texting overload,
you will absolutely distinguish yourself as a suitor if you make the
effort to dial her digits to show you’re serious. Real connections
happen through real-time conversation, and even by leaving a voicemail
checking in to say hi, she’ll likely start to dig you more if she was
into you in the first place. You should still text her from time to time
to show her she’s on your mind, but texting should not be your primary
form of communication.
2. Grab the cheque.
Even with the female gender making
advancements in the workplace, it is a nice chivalrous gesture for the
first four or five dates to grab at the cheque to show you are making an
investment getting to know her. Be warned that even if she says “I can
split,” she secretly wants you to pay. Just like men test women (and
want to see the obligatory wallet reach), women test men to see if they
accept their offer. To play it safe (just in case she is more
traditional and decisive on these matters), I would insist on paying up
until a point of exclusivity. It’s fine if you don’t take her to lavish,
expensive meals each time — but paying each time signals your interest
and will prevent her from potentially writing you off immediately.
3. Make the first date in her neighborhood. (Then ask if you can walk her home.)
In summation, I’ve “officially” dated three guys since my epic ex.
When setting the first date, make it convenient for her and in her hood. So long as she is not actively sick of her area, she’ll appreciate having it on her home turf. After the date, ask if you can walk her home. If she has not run away by now with some excuse on having to meet another friend or family member who is having an emergency, you can take that as a sign it went well. If she is fine with revealing where she lives to you and doesn’t think you’ll become a stalker, this is a nice touch to show you care about her protection and want to make sure she gets home safe.
4. Buy her a small token gift that shows you’re paying attention.
Did she mention she’s a huge fan of a
particular band in passing? Get concert tickets for the next date. Is
she always carrying a specific type of beverage, whether that is a brand
of coffee or tea? Bring her a cup of it next time you see her. Has she
expressed that she’s in search of a new iPhone case? Buy one for her in
her favorite color, out of the blue with no particular occasion. If she
already likes you, this will make her heart melt a little more and not
come off creepy.
5. Make concrete follow-up plans.
Coming from someone who is more afraid
of being hurt than being alone, I think it should be incumbent upon the
guy to set the first few dates and make specific follow-up plans until
you’re only seeing each other. While there may be slightly more
proactive girls out there who are fine with taking the lead, it can
often set up a pattern of complacency. I think most women appreciate
when guys lead to remove the uncertainty of wanting to see each other
again. If you think it comes off too eager to make follow-up plans while
you’re on the date (guys — in line with other articles that have been
written, let’s immediately get off this dating trend of seeing who can
act more aloof), atleast send a text the next day indicating you’d like
to set another date and will be in touch. If you will be out of town or
have another reason you can’t meet for a week, make sure she knows you
still want to see her and propose an actual specific day to get together
after you get back. (We all know the all-too-common fade-away begins
with vague, non-specific “I’ll call you when I get back into town.”)
6. Linguistically match her.
This is a subtle form of mirroring, but
studies have shown that people who speak and write similarly are likely
to be happier together than those who don’t. Makes sense, considering
you often want to be on the same “level” as the person you are dating,
and same level can often mean sophistication of prose. By matching her
in the way she communicates, you are showing that you literally are
speaking her “language” and on the same page. This helps show that you
“get her” and will only increase her affection for you.
Guys are simple. If they want to see you, they will let you know.
7. Cook her dinner.
One that involves more effort than
heating up some Chef Boyardee’s. First, it will signal that you are good
with reversing gender norms and stepping up in the kitchen, and two,
show that you can provide her actual sustenance. I know I speak on
behalf of many women out there who say (similar to men) that our
stomachs are the way to our hearts. Plus, there is nothing sexier than
seeing a guy show his chops in the kitchen. (Bonus points if you use
actual adult place settings and silverware instead of disposable
plates.)
- Suleen Lee is the General Counsel of
Barre Bee Fit, a fast-growing fitness franchise specializing in group
fitness. This article is culled from Thought Catalog
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